For Such A Time As This

Maximizing everyday moments to glorify God

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

on January 30, 2013

The words were so ugly that I cringed as I heard them.

Then, the guilt and remorse set in.

The words were from my own mouth, spewed at those I love most. Why do I do this!?  The pain in my own heart was nothing compared to the sadness created by my words.

My kids watched a show on television where a photo showed the true, ugly reality of a person, while on the outside they were model perfect – beautiful and admirable. But the photo showed the truth of their inner spirit and it was anything but pretty.

I can look like that photo sometimes.

Stress. Anxiety. Frustration. All play a role in my allowing those venomous thoughts to turn into words. When the kids are fighting and not listening. When my husband is overloaded and unavailable. When I am on a deadline and everything seems to be working against the ticking clock.

Those are the times when I can lose my cool and say regrettable things. When my inner ugly comes out.

However.

I’m learning that those are also times when I can learn to lean in to God and ask Him to help. When I can repeat the words of Psalm 19:14 in my mind, or aloud, and believe that they are true. And can be true of me.

This verse is becoming a daily prayer of mine. I long for God to change my heart and take away that tendency to let the enemy use the daily stressors to influence my decisions, thoughts and words. When I can trust that God is changing who I am on the inside to be more like Him.

After a few days of praying this prayer, God tenderly showed me that He truly will change me. We faced an expensive truck repair and the inconvenience of not having one of our vehicles for a few days. In the middle of my work day, my husband needed a ride home from the repair shop, 40 minutes away.

As I drove up to get him, I prayed, please let me handle this with grace. It’s frustrating and we can’t afford it, but let me be peaceful.

You see, it was our 18th wedding anniversary.

The drive home turned into a stop at the store, giving us a couple uninterrupted hours together. God nudged, helping me see that had the truck not broken down, we would have each gone about our day without stopping to spend time together on a special day.

And, thankfully, I kept my cool. Yes, He can change my heart. It may not be completely overnight, but those little steps of progress make the journey possible and worthwhile.

Praise God.

 

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2 responses to ““May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

  1. Angie says:

    Change is my word for the year. I need to make some changes on the inside to reflect how I do and say things. Change is especially hard for me because it usually means I have been wrong about something. Change can mean I need to take down some walls, allowing others to see that there is more to me than what I always show.

    You are right. It won’t happen overnight but my journey this year is about change.

    Love you and love your heart!!

  2. pattihazlett says:

    What insightful comments, Angie! You are so right, change is terribly hard. I’ve been praying this Psalm a lot lately, but I know it isn’t going to happen in my everyday actions unless God changes em on the inside. Praying for us both, my sweet friend!

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